It’s been a rough week. I’m getting to know myself all over again, and in some ways, it feels like the first time. I was nineteen when Doug and I got married, so I was never a single adult. I’m still me, still that crazy girl, but I love the person I’ve grown into over the years. I know I’m better because of Doug. He was so good to me, so patient and affirming. He adored me and pretty much thought I pooped rainbows. If I believed everything he said about me I wouldn’t be able to walk through the door, my head would be so big.
He always pointed out my strengths. If I were bemoaning a weakness, he made excuses for why it was okay or not as bad as I thought, or he’d say that I had already improved in that area. One of his attempts at deflection that made me laugh was when he would point out some strength that had absolutely nothing to do with what was bothering me, and say that because I was (insert anything good here,) nothing I was worrying about could be a problem. But the thing that always seemed to turn my face back to the path ahead was when he talked to me about how much he loved my relationship with God. It wasn’t just the details that he observed in that relationship; he gained strength and encouragement from it. My churning emotions would become calm. I was like Peter, walking on the water but looking at the waves; and there was Doug, lifting my face to look back at Jesus.
How amazing that someone so broken and hurting could be so strong and tenderhearted. I am blessed to have been deeply loved. I am blessed to have been greatly admired. Will you do me a favor? Look at your spouse, children, loved ones of any kind; and when you find what you can admire in them, do it with intention. Look at those beautiful and good things about them and thank God for them; then tell them what you see. Look at their relationship with God with an eye to see the uniqueness, and love that part of them more; then tell them what you see. Live that way. It will change your lives and the world around you. It changed mine.