“Expect something different.” I wrote that at the top of a page in my junk-drawer-journal; that spiral bound thing that has menus, budget figuring, floor plan ideas, shopping lists, thoughts and study notes, and scribbles from Eowynn. Every time I’m flipping through looking for a recipe idea or some random note and I see those words, “Expect something different,” it grips my soul. It hit me today; this is a vital piece in my journey to Believe! (I realize this may have been obvious, but that’s just how far I have to go!)
This is where believing in theory becomes a mindset change. Expectation is what mindsets are made of. I believe in my head that God loves me, but if my experience doesn’t lead me to expect that love, it is in theory only that I believe. When I expect his love, I’ve made a paradigm shift and my mindset is now set in the truth.
I’ve been asking God to change my mind, because let’s face it, grabbing hold of a truth in head-knowledge doesn’t mean our minds instantly apply that truth to our lives. It doesn’t become our own until it changes us. In his kindness and love, God is answering my prayer for a mindset change by setting my life in the direction. At the beginning of the year, he tells me it’s time to move from Freedom into Believe, and he’s done more than I can write about to inch my sluggish heart along this journey. At some point in the past months, he whispered a message, “Expect something different.” It’s taken me seeing it repeatedly for weeks to get it. Expect something different! Really expect it!
Those aren’t just nice words that look good with a background picture of a mountain and river. That is Truth! Expect it! I have had frustration and struggle trying to change my life. It’s not even a subconscious thing that I feel I’ll never change and that my circumstance will never improve. I’m conscious of the thoughts. I try to choose to believe, but I haven’t won that battle yet, so I can’t pick up the arrow.
I have huge dreams for my future. They are impossible without God’s intervention in my life. I know he gave these dreams to me. It’s a dream I had as a child, but it’s only now taken shape as something to reach for. I’ve never felt so sure or wanted something so badly as I do now. There are some pretty big obstacles, but the biggest is myself.
I don’t have the mindset to walk in the reality of the dream.
If I had that dream handed to me right now, I would be crushed under the weight of it because of my mindset. My mindset expects the dream will fall apart for no reason. My mindset expects that I will have no favor with people I need to partner with. My mindset expects that whatever I do, I’ll never receive the kind of financial compensation to live successfully as a normal adult. My mindset expects that I won’t be able to communicate what God has put on my heart. My mindset expects that this dream will be like all dreams before; a cloud that is nothing but a vapor that gets blown away with the wind.
My mindset needs to expect something different!
God in his infinite wisdom, whispers a tiny seed of a thought into my heart. It’s finally grown to the point that I can see the seedling peeking its first little leaf above the soil. This morning was the first time I heard the words, “Expect something different,” and realized, I need to do this for real! I may not have the faith or strength of mind yet to believe for a specific different thing, but I’m on the lookout for something, anything different. This is how I’m going to change my mindset and truly believe. I’m glad I have the right idea, now I want it to change my world.
Today, and tomorrow, and the next day, I will believe.
I will Expect Something Different.